It all feels so surreal to me. Nearly 8 months ago, I sat here typing up my feelings and emotions as I dealt with the departure of my husband as he began this deployment. Now, in just a few more days, I will be standing at the pier as a huge aircraft carrier returns to its home port, my husband on board. I will be just one among thousands of husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, daughters and sons, friends and family waiting anxiously for my sailor to step off the ship and into my arms. And I honestly cannot believe I will be living that moment so soon!
This deployment has by far been one of the toughest we’ve endured, if only because of the sheer length of it. Eight months! Eight long months separated by thousands of miles of land and ocean. Some people would think, “Well, it’s only 2 months longer than the 6-month deployment he went on. It can’t be that much different!” They are so totally wrong! It may seem like just two extra months, but those two extra months lumped with 6 months of already-hard-to-deal-with separation just make the days go by slower. In my mind, all I can think is “He should have been home two months ago!” But at least now I can finally say, with sincerity and excitement, “He’s gonna be home soon!”
Add to those two additional months of separation the fact that I have spent all 8 months of this deployment being a housewife for an absent husband. By choice, of course. But that doesn’t hide the obvious fact that my husband is not home. I’ve had to keep myself busy, distracted, so as to keep my mind off the fact that my husband will not be walking through the door after a day at work with a request for lunch and some cuddle time on the couch. I’ve had to manage ALL the responsibilities at home, including taking care of the car. And if you know me at all, you know that I’m not a huge fan of taking the car in for maintenance or making sure it gets washed once a month. And then there are the dogs. Oh, our sweet little girls. They have brought me great joy, comfort, and company during hubby’s absence. But they’ve caused me grief along with it. How nice it will be to have the hubby home to discipline the dogs and walk them once in a while, to entertain them and give them attention so they’re not always hounding me for it. Yes, I do look forward to a few SHARED responsibilities.
Thankfully, I have had a lot of support along the way. I’ve had great friends who could sympathize with my situation. And I’ve had my family and other friends to encourage me along the way. Holidays with the family were fantastic and a great distraction. Spending a few days in Florida to see my sister-in-law get married, and getting to spend some wonderful time with my mother- and father-in-law started off the distractions, and that was a great way to start. Then, I got to meet my adorable little nephew while spending time with my brother and sister-in-law. I got to see my aunts and uncles. I even got to drag my parents to Disneyland to celebrate my dad’s birthday, and even they had way more fun than they expected. Then there was the three weeks I spent with my parents in the Philippines for Christmas (which I still need to recap for you…shoot!). Throw into the mix lots of time with friends, doing dinners, going shopping, working out, or just talking after church. That all made these past 8 months just a little more bearable. And I am so thankful for all of my friends and my family, for the amazing support they have offered to me and the prayers they have lifted up for myself and for my husband.
It is no doubt by God’s grace and love that hubby and I have not only survived this deployment, but also grown stronger and closer through it. God has drawn us closer to Himself, and He has drawn us closer to each other, teaching us so much about love and patience, about how to be a husband and a wife to each other despite the distance. Every deployment is a challenge and lesson in faith. It teaches us to have faith in each other, to trust. And it also teaches us, above all else, to have faith in our Lord to take care of everything, what we can’t control and what we can. Because we can’t physically take care of each other, so we need to trust that God will take care for us and of us. And He has. And I am so thankful.
And now we are in that final home stretch, just days away from looking into each others’ eyes, sharing a hug, sharing a kiss, and sharing an “I love you.” Just a few more days…
WestPack 2009 is slowly drawing to a close for hubby’s ship. Soon they will be home and I will finally be in my hubby’s arms once again. I should be excited, right? Well, I am excited! How could I not be excited??? My husband is freaking finally gonna be home after 8 months of separation!
But more than anything, I’m anxious about his homecoming. Mainly I’m anxious because he’s so close to being home, but still it seems like forever until the day he’s here. That alone can drive a person nuts! Time just doesn’t go by fast enough, it really doesn’t. But I’m also anxious about a lot of other things. What’s he gonna be like when he gets home? Will I think he’s different? Will he think I’m different? Will he be proud of all the work I’ve done? Will he be upset with how cluttered the house is? Will he still think I’m beautiful?
It may seem like petty things to worry about, but these are real worries that I have. These are things that make me nervous. They make me anxious. Because no matter how much you want to act like nothing has changed in the time that he’s been gone, it’s not going to do any good. Because things have changed. We’ve both changed and grown in different ways during this deployment. We’ve both gone through very different experiences. And I know things around the house have changed quite a bit since hubby left. So finally being together again, it’s going to be another change for both of us to adjust to.
I know that sounds horrible, like we’ve become complete strangers to each other. But in a way, it’s the truth. Every homecoming is like this. Hubby and I have to get reacquainted with each other. We have to spend time getting to know each other again, seeing what changes have gone on in each of us. And we really do have to adjust to being with each other again. Hubby has spent months on a ship with thousands of other men and women, all of them doing their jobs and following their set routines. He’s become accustomed to early morning and/or late nights. And he’s used to being in charge of other people, leading his teams and telling people where to go, what to do, and when to do it.
Then there’s me. I’ve been at home this whole time establishing my paper crafting business and getting my name out there to potential customers. I’ve been working independently to promote myself, to network with others who may have useful connections, and to of course create. I’ve been taking care of the house, the bills, the finances, the dogs, the car, and my business. The only one telling me what to do is me. My schedule changes every day and I do what I want when I feel like it.
So you can just imagine how awkward things might be between myself and hubby for the first few weeks. He’ll try to boss me around. I won’t put up with it. We’ll bicker. Then we’ll make up. It’s happened before. It will happen again. But that doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking.
Nor does it make his homecoming any less exciting. Because at the end of the day, at the end of this freaking long deployment, he is still my husband and I still love the man with all my heart. And there is no feeling like the one you get when you see the person you love, your soul mate, walking towards you and you see his face for the first time in months, knowing that any second he’s gonna be in your arms and he’s not going anywhere for a while. Your heart stops when your eyes meet, then races uncontrollably when you kiss for the first time in what seems like an eternity. You can smell him again. You can feel him. You can touch him, hold him, kiss him. You can hear his voice. You can see his eyes dance as he looks at you, the same way he looked at you walking down the aisle on your wedding day. And you can finally tell him, in person, with your own voice “I love you.” Yep…that makes it worth everything. That makes you forget that you were apart for so long. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now you can just focus on being with each other. Sure, you may have to spend some time getting to know each other again. But you take advantage of this time together to date again, to learn all these new things about each other, and to remember all the old things that you just love.
Whoo…my heart is racing just thinking about it all! I can’t wait to see my husband again! Yes, I’m still anxious about a lot of things. But I know that as soon as I’m in his arms, everything will just melt away. It will be just me and him and all the time in the world.
Now if only time would go by faster so that he’ll be here already!!!
Well, the first day of 2010 has come and gone. I honestly can’t believe how quickly the past year has just flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle to marry my hubby. Now we’ve celebrated our one year anniversary, my brother and his wife have had their first child, my parents have moved back to the Philippines, and many of my friends are now the ones looking forward to their wedding days. Not to mention I finally started my own business! Yep, it’s been a crazy year. A busy year. A year of tons of new experiences.
It’s also been a year that has shown me a lot about myself. I know that I can look back on this past year and be proud of many of my accomplishments. But there are also many things that I would love to change about last year. But we all know you can’t change the past. You can only learn from it. So that is exactly what I intend to do.
Everyone knows about New Year’s Resolutions. You make them at the beginning of the year. Then you break them the next day Okay, so I’m sure some of you out there actually kept at least one your resolutions from last year, but you have to admit that more often than not, we usually forget about our resolutions not long after they’re made. I’m the same way. I don’t think there’s a single resolution that I’ve made that I can remember keeping. But I’m hoping 2010 will be a different year for that. I’ve compiled my top ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 and I hope to update you on how I’m doing on them throughout the year. So here they are:
Grow and strengthen my relationship with Christ. This past year was a year of laziness and complacency in my walk with Jesus. I don’t like admitting to that, but it’s the truth. I’ve spent more time watching TV than I have reading God’s Word. And I’d much rather sleep in on Sundays than go to church. But I know this needs to change. I can see in myself how my stagnant walk has affected my life. I’m less content and much more irritable. There just isn’t as much joy in my life. And I miss having that joy of just being in love with Jesus. I want that joy again. I want to be in love with Jesus again. And so I will spend more time in prayer, worship, and devotion. And thanks to my friends, I’ll have some awesome accountability partners to grow with
Develop a healthier lifestyle. I will make wiser dietary choices and participate in more physical activity. And I will keep a daily diary of all my food intake and exercise. I even purchased this Diet & Fitness Journal to help me keep myself accountable. Let’s just hope I’m disciplined enough to write in it like I’m supposed to.
Be more financially responsible. I’m so thankful that hubby and I have no debt right now, praise the Lord. We were both very blessed to have parents who assisted us financially with things like college tuition or getting a car, or our wedding :p But I know that I can be much more responsible with our finances. There are definitely a lot of unnecessary expenses that we can get rid of or at least cut back on. And by doing so we will be able to save more money each month to put towards a down payment for the house that hubby and I hope to someday own. It’s going to take a lot of hard work and discipline, but I know that being more responsible with our money will literally pay off in the end.
Be a better friend. I’ve got friends all over the world. And I’ve got friends right down the street from me. And I hardly keep in touch with any of them. I have no excuse. I really don’t. I have a cell phone. Facebook is at my fingertips. And I make cards for a living, for goodness sake! So why is it that I find it so hard to write a letter or jot something on someone’s wall every now and again? I don’t want to do that anymore. My friends and my family have done so much for me over the years, and I need to make more of an effort to write to them to let them know that I’m thinking about them, to say “What’s up?”, and to encourage them. And yes, I’ll even make more of an effort to get out of the house and hang out more often. I don’t want to turn into a hermit!
Find a great balance with my responsibilities as a housewife and a business owner. This is a tough one for me. It’s a blessing to love my work and my job. But it’s a curse in the sense that I’m much more willing to spend time “at work” than I am to take on my roles as a housewife and do things like cooking, dishes, laundry, and other basic chores. I can get away with it right now, only because hubby is gone so there’s no one to complain about anything. But I know I need to change this before he gets home. I have to find a balance so that I can give the appropriate amount of time to my many responsibilities. This resolution alone shall be quite the adventure.
Grow my business. I have ten separate sub-resolutions to go with this one. You can read them in detail on my Scraps of Life blog post. But the idea is basic. I want to grow my business. I want to gain more customers and increase my income.
Read at least one book a month. Yeah, I recently re-discovered that wonderful place known as the library. Turns out you don’t need to buy a book anytime you want to read something. You can just go to the library and borrow one for FREE! Amazing right? I think it is. And I’ve read more books in the past few months than I’ve read in the last couple of years. I plan on continuing this trend, and challenging myself a little more by setting a goal of one book a month. I definitely plan to blog about the books I read, too.
Learn a new language. French is my language of choice. Though I do need to brush up on my Spanish, as it’s pretty shameful how much I’ve forgotten. But the new language I want to really learn is French. I’ve got the awesome My French Coach for my Nintendo DS to help me learn the basics. I also have a computer program for more of the indepth grammar and conjugation type stuff to. So I’ll have to make time for some French lessons. Oh, and I definitely need to practice my Tagalog. After my trip to the Philippines (which I’ll have to recap you on later), I’m determined to learn my native language.
Write more often. Oh I write plenty on my Scraps of Life blog. But I need to write more to this blog, as well. And I just need to start journaling again. One thing I learned a while ago is that writing is my gift and my ministry. I need to use it!
Make sure that my husband knows how much I love him each and everyday. I know, it sounds cheesy. But this is a very important resolution for me and hubby. It is too easy to just go through a day, go through all the motions and the routine, and not really show each other how much we love each other. I don’t want any of that this year. I want my husband to know, when he wakes up and when he goes to bed, that I love him with all my heart and that he means the world to me. Maybe it won’t be with the words “I love you” 50 times a day, but it will be with a random hug, his favorite meal, a spotless house when he gets home from work, a heartfelt email, a night of cuddling on the couch, or a little note tucked into his lunchbox for when he goes to work. There are so many ways to let your spouse know that you love them, and I intend to let my hubby know it every day, moreso this year than last.
As you can see, I have TONS to work on for this year. But I’m excited to get started. Every day is going to be a new adventure, a new experience, and a new opportunity to make a difference. I’m not going to waste 2010. I’m going to make the most of it!
What are your goals for 2010? Whatever they may be, good luck…and if you don’t reach all of them, don’t worry. There’s always next year!
So my hubby sent me two emails telling me about his Christmas. He sounded very excited and proud of what he and his fellow sailors did this Christmas and he asked me to share it with everyone. So I will!
Email #1: “I am great for the first time in my life I found something that I am honored to do and that is to serve my country. And no one can do what I do I am a third class petty officer and I have been filling the spot of a first class and I do it better than they do. I run the flight to flight crews and I help put warheads on foreheads and my guys are the fastest grapes ranked navy wide and I couldn’t be more proud to serve with them. So these are my nick names now, smoke because I am throwing 7 different kinds of smoke 24/7 365 and I never stop until all the work is done, and grape ape because I am the fiercest one out there and I will attack any one that messes with my guys and I pound my chest like a silver back gorilla and never back down. And the guys on the boat made every single one of them and on the back of my float coat it says SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF SMOKE. Oh and this is what Christmas is like on the boat”
Email #2: “Well let me tell you about my Christmas well we flew and provided close air
support to the ground and…saved some lives and I did it with more honor and pride than I could even tell you. Our guys on the ground were not alone this Christmas but our enemies were and they knew it to day when no one came to help them. We will always be there for [our guys] and they know it we are the Christmas angels of retribution and vengeance and will not be [denied]. On top of that I woke up early as [heck] and its now 0100 the next day that’s a good day for any navy man that’s my Christmas”
You might be able to tell that hubby isn’t one for grammar and punctuation, and I edited a little for spelling and language (those sailors and their language…lol). But I think you can also sense the excitement and pride in hubby’s words.
The sailors and airmen of the USS Nimitz were very busy this Christmas, but they made their country proud! They worked hard and did their jobs with honor, with pride, and with courage this Christmas. I hope we all are proud of their service and their daily sacrifice. If you have a loved one on board the USS Nimitz or any of the ships in the fleet, please email them today. Tell them that you love them and that you are very proud of all that they do, and wish them a very Merry Christmas. Give them thanks for it is because of these service men and women that we are able to celebrate our Christmas holiday in peace.
Hubby emailed this to me and I absolutely had to share it with all of you! For all us Navy spouses out there with our SO’s on deployment, this is just a little reminder of what our hubbies and wives will be doing this Christmas:
Twas the night before Christmas, the ship was out steaming, Sailors
stood watch while others were dreaming.
They lived in a crowd with racks tight and small, In a 80-man berthing,
cramped one and all.
I had come down the stack with presents to give, And to see inside just
who might perhaps live.
I looked all about, a strange sight did I see, No tinsel, no presents,
not even a tree.
No stockings were hung, shined boots close at hand, On the bulkhead hung
pictures of a far distant land.
They had medals and badges and awards of all kind, And a sober thought
came into my mind.
For this place was different, so dark and so dreary, I had found the
house of a Sailor, at once I saw clearly.
A Sailor lay sleeping, silent and alone, Curled up in a rack and
dreaming of home.
The face was so gentle, the room squared away, This was the United
States Sailor today.
This was the hero I saw on TV,
Defending our country so we could be free.
I realized the families that I would visit this night, Owed their lives
to these Sailors lay willing to fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play, And grownups would
celebrate on Christmas Day.
They all enjoyed freedom each day of the year, Because of the Sailor,
like the one lying here.
I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone, On a cold Christmas Eve on a
sea, far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye, I dropped to my knees and
started to cry.
“Santa, don’t cry, this life is my choice.”
“Defending the seas all days of the year, So others may live and be free
with no fear.”
I thought for a moment, what a difficult road, To live a life guided by
honor and code.
After all it’s Christmas Eve and the ship’s underway!
But freedom isn’t free and it’s sailors who pay.
The Sailor say’s to our country “be free and sleep tight, No harm will
come, not on my watch and not on this night.
The Sailor rolled over and drifted to sleep, I couldn’t control it, I
continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent, so still, I watched as the Sailor
shivered from the night’s cold chill.
I didn’t want to leave on that cold dark night, This guardian of honor
so willing to fight.
The Sailor rolled over and with a voice strong and sure, Commanded,
“Carry on Santa, It’s Christmas, and All is Secure!”
And to my wonderful hubby aboard the USS Nimitz…I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. And I hope you have a Merry Christmas! I’m so proud of you!
Okay, so I’m sure some of you out there actually kept at least one your resolutions from last year, but you have to admit that more often than not, we usually forget about our resolutions not long after they’re made. I’m the same way. I don’t think there’s a single resolution that I’ve made that I can remember keeping. But I’m hoping 2010 will be a different year for that. I’ve compiled my top ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 and I hope to update you on how I’m doing on them throughout the year. So here they are:
to help me keep myself accountable. Let’s just hope I’m disciplined enough to write in it like I’m supposed to.
for my 
to help me learn the basics. I also have a computer program for more of the indepth grammar and conjugation type stuff to. So I’ll have to make time for some French lessons. Oh, and I definitely need to practice my Tagalog. After my trip to the Philippines (which I’ll have to recap you on later), I’m determined to learn my native language.