I Think I Might Have Envy…
In about 3 months my brudder and sis-in-law will be having their first child, and I am uber freaking stoked to become an aunt…and to see my big brudder become a Daddy for the first time in his life 
And of course our whole family is in a bit of a baby buzz right now with the anticipation of a new baby in the family. Sadly, I feel I am missing out on most of that buzz. Much of the family lives up in San Jose, a short drive from where brudder and SIL live. So they’ve gotten to see SIL from the beginning. They’ve gotten to see SIL’s belly grow as her pregnancy progresses. And they are some of the first to see ultrasound images of the baby. Meanwhile, I’m down in San Diego with my hubby (well, kind of “with” my hubby…darn deployments), and I get to see everything through facebook. Facebook for crying out loud! It’s like when you’re perusing your home page to find out someone you know got married. I just so happen to come across pics and vids of my nephew posted by SIL or the parents. Kind of annoying.
I guess that just goes to show how out of touch I am with my own family. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough to keep in touch? I blog when I can. I Facebook often enough I suppose. But it’s tough when I live hundreds of miles from everyone, while they all live so close to each other. I suppose I can’t use that excuse either, though, since the parents are in the Philippines and they seem to be more in the loop than me! I guess I just kind of feel left out, like I’m the last to know anything going on in the family. Have I distanced myself that much in the past few years? I suppose I have been in my own little world for a while. Graduating college. Job hunting. Being enamored with my now husband. Trying to start a business. You know, figuring out my life. But now I feel like I’ve been missing out on a part of it, too.
Call me jealous, I guess. I want what the rest of my family seems to have. A connection to each other. But then again, maybe I already have that. I just need to find it again, to rekindle it and keep it strong. I dunno. I’ll figure it out eventually I’m sure.